Well I'm back, I've missed blogging. In fact I did try to blog elsewhere this last year. But it wasn't the same. This is my home. My blog. My outlet. Thing is for a while I didn't feel like I could post here, but I'm realising it's okay.
This isn't a family blog anymore. I wasn't ready to be a Mom, to be a wife. I was only 17 when I had my son. Only 20 when I got married. And quite frankly most of this blog was a lie.
I wasn't in some perfect, happy marriage. My son didn't live with us, he hasn't for most of his life but I felt so ashamed. I'm starting to see that I shouldn't be though. I held my hands up and admitted I couldn't do it. I made sure my son was in a stable, loving environment and I tried to be a mother to him. I stepped away from my marriage, re-evaluated and realised we weren't happy and we weren't in love. It was still painful, but I needed to leave while we were in agreement. I didn't want to be one of those couples who blames each other, hurts each other and needs to be the winner or the victim. We entered into our marriage as a team, we will exit as one.
I don't know what he's up to, who he's dating or even if he's dating. I could go and google and honestly a couple of times I've started to, but I stop myself. I remind myself that he isn't mine and he deserves to be happy as do I.
So now I'm starting to date. I'm studying. Spending time with friends. Reconnecting with family. I've just moved into a lovely house which I'm redecorating and I'm getting back to money saving and being creative.
I'm sorry for vanishing, I'm sorry for not giving any indication to what was happening. But I'm not sorry for taking some much needed time to work on myself and be okay.
